The Shakespearian Supper (incorporating St George´s Soirée)

For many Scots, people with (often distant) Scottish ancestry, wannabe Scots and those who are related to or are friends of Scots going to a Burns Supper on or around the 25th January is a not unusual occurrence.  Often non-Scots (sometimes of the Sassenach genre) find the whole affair somewhat bewildering as they are bestowed with strange food, unfamiliar songs, different dancing and a form of English that is difficult to comprehend. Is this all confusing because people don´t have similar days in honour of their countries´s favourite poets?  In order to redress the balance for any "I´m fine, Jock" Englishmen (or women) I propose a Shakespeare/St George´s Day/Night to celebrate all that is good about being English.  They say that tartan or kilts were English inventions but nevertheless has been well adopted by Scots irrespective of the origins, maybe this could be a Scottish invention to be well adopted by Anglos.  Everyone knows all the best inventions have Scottish origins, fact!  Here is a proposal (not a final plan) for activities and a menu "for sic a dinner":

The Cultural Activities

On arrival: Swing Low (looped ad nauseum) with video montage of Jonny Wilkinson´s Rugby World Cup Winning drop goal, Geoff Hurst´s Football World Cup winning goal, still frame of Will Carling´s face, still frame of a grinning Bill Beaumont.

Readings from all 154 of Shakespeare´s Sonnets.

Welcome from Chair.

Dinner (with background music of Greensleeves and Fairport Convention on loop)

Refreshments.

Performance of Shakespeare´s most obscure plays by local Am-Dram group.

All take the floor for full-contact Morris Dancing with bells, sticks and tissues.

Finale: Jerusalem.

The Dinner

Starter: Cream Crackers with Dairylea served with a radish, pear and apple garnish. (vegetarian)

            Hovis Digestives with black pudding and tripe served on a bed of marmite. (carnivorian)

Main: Faggots served with Jersey "new" potatoes, boiled giant marrow, sliced radish, stewed brussel  

         sprouts, blanched cabbage, fennel spears and roast chicory. (carnivorian)

         Nut roast served with Jersey "new" potatoes, boiled giant marrow, sliced radish, stewed brussel  

         sprouts, blanched cabbage, fennel spears, roast chicory and chicory tips. (vegetarian)

Dessert: Distressed Custard and Pear Halves (tinned) (suitable for vegetarians)

             Eton Mess. (broken merengue, créme, fruit) (not suitable for vegans)

Drinks: served with a choice of Mild, Elderflower Wine, Gin or Elderflower Cordial all served in Pint or

            Half-Pint glasses.

Refreshments: Weak leaf tea or Nescafé instant coffee, served with no cakes or biscuits.

                      Non dairy sweetner and milk substitute available.